9 Years and 1 Day

Dearest Wee Beauty–

“525 thousand 600 minutes…how do you measure, measure a year?”- Rent

9 years and 1 day ago, I woke up, determined to beat this thing called an eating disorder that had a stranglehold on my life.

So now it’s been 525,600 minutes times 9 years (try that as a math problem!), plus 1 day, since I woke up with the thought of “I’m ready to eat, again.”

But looking back, I now know that what I was really saying is:

I’m ready to try this thing called life, again.

Life is funny, you know.  There are these ups and downs; dream-filled days and sleepless nights; flashes of joy and rivers of tears.

More and more and more, I realize that we don’t get to choose what life throws at us.  We can’t say: no thank you, grief, I’d like some more happy, please.  We only get to choose how we want to live.  We only get to choose what we do with that grief, those tears, that bad day,  or even that extra incredibly good day.

And although it’s taken me these nine years plus one day to figure this next bit out, I’m going to whisper it to you so you’ll carry it with you, always:

Wake up each day, and marvel at the miracles.

And when you rest your head, give a big sigh of thanks for that, too.

Regardless of what life happens to toss your way, you can’t go wrong with marveling at the miracles and giving thanks with a little dancing mixed in (because…dancing!).

And to those of you who are reading this and battling against ED (an eating disorder), I say this: when in doubt, choose your life.  It will never let you down.

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