And I would go/ To the ends of the earth/ ‘Cause darling/ To me that’s what you’re worth/ Where you lead, I will follow/ Anywhere that you tell me to/ If you need, you need me to be with you/ I will follow where you lead– Carole King
My dearest girl,
Now you are four. Or rather, as I write this, it is 53 hours before you turn four (yes, your mama remembers the exact minute you whooshed out into this world), and as you lie curled up beside me, hair all filled with mousies or kitty cats or puppies (or whatever other imaginary animal that you decide made an imaginary nest in your tangled bed head curls), eye lashes resting peacefully on your flushed cheeks, I am typing away on my phone, as fast as I can with one hand, trying to write your birthday blog post before you wake up.
I am struck by how some things never change, even as others spin faster or even out of orbit, falling by the wayside. Yes, some things do change, and yet I am still sneaking in blog posts during stolen early morning moments, typing on one hand, with you curled up beside me.
I think back to other birthday posts, where I offered up sage advice (or what I hope is still sage advice by the time you read it), and while I know all of those things still to be true, there is something I want you to know:
On the day you were born, my world shifted. Tilted. Really, since we’re talking about you, I think we could even say it twirled.
And I have never been the same.
Becoming a mum to you, my wee bee, has been the most amazing thing that has ever happened in my life. And it’s not just because you’re my wee girl, and I’m your mum. It’s because you are You. You are this incredible little bee-ing with wings on your heart and a rhythm in your can’t-stay-still toes.
And so when we spin, around and around and around, dancing to the Gilmore Girls theme song (on repeat), I am reminded of all the amazing-ness that you have brought into my life.
I didn’t really know who I was, until you came along. I didn’t know how strong I could be; how much courage I had deep inside; how much joy and love and laughter were waiting in my heart; how much I love the colour pink; and how much I love waffles for dinner (oh I love them an awful lot!).
I thought I knew, but I didn’t. I didn’t know me, until you.
And so, on your birthday, I just want you to know how grateful I am to be going through this life with you, my wee Gilmore Girl. I could not imagine a better dance partner if I tried. Happy Birthday to the girl I love more than anything in the whole. wide. world.